Pushing past the wall

Sunday, December 7, 2008
For the first time in 70 some days - I had no desire to jump on to my treadmill desk.  I fell asleep watching an 8:00pm show with my older son. Last night I was awoken in the middle of the night by some noisy neighborhood teens, which was shortly followed by a call from a friend informing me that my younger son, who was at her house for a sleepover, had woken up with an earache and fever.  Today we spent the entire day entertaining mostly strangers in our house as we survived our stint on the Children's Home Society Parlor Tour.  So I am tired.  I am yawning as I type and walk.  But when I began this journey, I committed to myself to make no excuses.  For me, excuses - legit or fabricated - have always become a slippery slope.  If I bag out of my routine because I am tired, then I create a precedent for bagging out when I have too much to do.  Exercise, nutrition, and general wellbeing must be purposeful and that is the journey that I have committed to; one that reclaims my previous self from excuses, self-doubt, boredom, and external criticism.  This is not to say that I would jeopardize my husband's, children's, or own wellbeing, rather this is more of a realization that when I am able - being purposeful in this journey pays dividends in a healthier me, which in turn transports me to a more energetic, happier, and healthier place from which to care for my family, work, and other responsibilities.  So 20 minutes in to a routing on an evening of a day that was likely to see 0 minutes -- I journey on.